Results day..

This was the Thursday following testing day. Our appointment was at 2:30 pm and that started with the geneticist team. They were very sweet, although I was a bit distracted because I just wanted to see my girl. They gave us some information about SB which we kind of already knew, and told us that a recurrence for future pregnancies would be 3-5%. And that once Peter and I wanted to start trying again they would give me a higher amount of folic acid.

After the genetics team, came Dr. Oppenheimer, she is the head doctor at our local SB clinic. She is a sweet older lady. She told us what can typically be expected out of children with the same lesion level as Emma's. She told us that if Emma's lesion is at her L2 then there wouldn't be much feeling below the hips. That walking is possible with long crutches, and leg braces, however many children with this lesion level chose a wheelchair later in life because it uses less energy and is quicker. If her lesion is at the L4 level then there is a much greater chance that she will walk, with short leg braces and possible crutches. She also told us that even though she does have the Chiari malformation it doesn't impact their cognitive abilities greatly. That most kids tested at just about 10 points less then their siblings on a standard IQ test. Dr. O (we'll call her this for short) told us that generally SB kids are more chatty, because they can't keep up physically  Well coming from our family we already knew this girl was going to be a talker.

Then we headed into the team meeting. A little intimidating if I do say so myself, however we out numbered them which was our goal! HAHAHA!! There were five doctors, one nurse practitioner, and the fella from the geneticist team. We got to see some of the images from our MRI done on Tuesday, and then got into the nitty gritty. We were told that she has a thickening in her Nuchal fold, which could be an indicator for downs, although everything else they look for in Downs isn't apparent on our little girl! THANK GOD!!! They told us that she has a kidney duplication, which shouldn't cause her any problems, one of the doctors shared a personal story about her friend that had a kidney duplication but it wasn't detected until she had to have an unrelated surgery and then it revealed itself. Her miconium (baby poop) isn't as far down into the rectum as typically seen, but again this isn't cause for concern. Her ventricles were measuring at 11.7-11.9 and normal is considered 10. So while they are a little high they aren't out of this world! AGAIN THANK GOD!!!!! It was confirmed that she does have movement in her legs, from the MRI they could tell that she was moving them at her ankle and knee joints. PRAISE GOD!!! We were told that her feet look perfect. PRAISE GOD!!

So while this day came with some tough things that a momma doesn't want to hear we also got good news!!

Thanks for reading this lengthy post but just wanted to let you all know what we know at this point!!

At the end of the day this is what matters...

Here's her PERFECT feet... 

Testing day

Tuesday started early, I had to be at Children's Hospital at 6:30 am. Myself, my wonderful husband, and sweet momma got there and got me all signed in. I didn't have to wait to long until they called me back, however I was hungry and that is never a nice thing to do to a pregnant woman. Anywho, we got back to the little prep room and I signed my name for what seemed like a few hundred more times and they took me back to the MRI room. I did get to watch a movie which I appreciated because man was that machine LOUD!! I was in there for total of an hour, which all things considered isn't so bad.I don't think Emma liked it so much though because at certain points I could feel her squirming around.

After the MRI, we went to the hospital where we will be delivering at for an ultrasound. We were all pretty excited at the opportunity to see our little girl again. She was stubborn though and wasn't in the best position for the ultrasound tech to see her lesion so she could get some measurements of it. So I stood up, walked around, drank some water, did some stretching, and a lot of finger crossing that Emma would co-operate. The tech came back in to check and see if she moved, and of course (just like her daddy) she didn't budge. I think we have a strong willed little girl on our hands... UH OH... But the tech got what she could and then we waited for the doctor. He finally got there (he's a busy man) and took his own look at sweet Emma. So we got to see her again (which of course we didn't complain).

Once we were done with the ultrasound we were off back to Children's. We went to the Fetal Care Center and met with the social worker Erin, and the nurse practitioner Avery. Both gals were sweet and compassionate, they gave us as much information as they could, and then sent us on our way. We went to the fetal echo and the cardiologist came back and said our sweet girls heart looked great! AMEN.

Overall this was a good day, it was a long day for sure but a good one!!

At the end of the day this is what matters...

Upside Down...

So... November 12, 2012, the day that would change our future forever. We knew adding a baby to our family would change our lives but we never would have imagined what God had in store for our family.

It started out like any other normal day. Peter and I both had the day off work. We were going to go to our doctors for our routine ultrasound and to confirm what we already knew that our baby was a princess. We were in the car driving downtown jamming out to some song that brought back memories for us. Got to the doctors right on time (per our usual were generally late), got checked in at the front desk and then waited for them to call us back.

We went back to the dark ultrasound room, and the tech began our ultrasound. I remember her going over Emma pretty fast but Peter and I were just blissfully enjoying all the images we were able to see of her! The tech was wrapping up the ultrasound when she told us that she wanted to refer us to a part of the hospital for high-risk pregnancies because she thought Emma had Spina Bifida. We were shocked. She said "why don't you go wait in the waiting room while I try and get you an appointment over there, I know I've just dropped a bombshell on you" (Uhh yeah ya think??) and I don't want you to have to wait a week for a follow up ultrasound.

So we waited and waited and waited to be called back to speak with the doctor before going over to the other section in the hospital. Our doctor was very compassionate but really all I wanted at that moment was to RUN... I didn't want to sit there anymore and here about how my PERFECT little girl may have something wrong with her.  I so wanted the ultrasound technician to be wrong.

We went for a higher level ultrasound, and that was originally done by another ultrasound technician and then she brought in a doctor to take another look. After what seemed like an eternity (although I really enjoyed getting to see my little girl for so long) she said "Your baby does have Spina Bifida".

So as Peter, myself and my mom hugged and cried we went to speak with a geneticist. Then we walked out of the hospital. I was in a daze... I couldn't believe it, I wondered why God, why US? Why would you do this to what was supposed to be our perfect family? Frankly how could you? 

We went home and just cried. That was all we could do. We were grieving over the loss of what we had dreamed of for our lives, how we envisioned the rest of our lives to be, the dreams we had for our little girl. Our pastor came over that night and just listened to us and prayed with and for us.

The week proceeding that Monday went by in a fog. I can't really remember much. Its gotten easier. I guess that's how I can describe it. Easier in a sense, that it's not so new, and real, and painful.

I sit here on the eve of the week that is going to re-open the semi closed holes in our hearts. This upcoming week I have to undergo a fetal MRI, another ultrasound, and a fetal echo. Then on Thursday we will have a meeting with about 4 different doctors, a neonatologist, a neurologist, a pediatric surgeon, and a maternal fetal medicine doctor. All who will be involved in the care for Emma after she is here. We will hopefully learn how severe her opening is and hopefully they can give us a little insight as to what she will have to endure in her new little life.

We ask for prayers, prayers for comfort, peace and understanding, prayers that the doctors will have all the wisdom and knowledge that they will need to handle our precious baby girl. Prayers for our family as they are trying to navigate their way through all of this as well. Prayers that the severity and her limitations wont be as bad as they could be.

Out of all of this though what we have learned so far is that God truly doesn't give a person more then they can handle. He obviously has a lot more confidence in us then I have in myself, but I have faith that he will hold Emma's hand through everything that she'll have to go through. And he has a reason for blessing our family with one AMAZING little girl!

I appreciate your reading this, and please continue to check back with Lady Bug Hugs for prayer needs and to just keep up with our cool little girl!

At the end of the day this is all that matters to us:

The beginning

Hello world. The story of us, that's where we'll begin. Peter and I met in high school at a birthday party. We were set up to go to our homecoming dance together for our senior year. And from there they say the rest is history. We were married on May 25, 2007. The best day of our lives so far! It was a great day surrounded by many friends and family! 

After we were married we settled on a five year plan. Meaning we would just enjoy each others company for the first five years of marriage before we began to add to our family. Well that plan didn't hold true entirely. In year 2, we added to our family... his name is Charlie...

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He has been our fur "baby" for the past three years and oh boy has it been fun! Peter and I always said that we wanted a dog, but we weren't going to get a puppy, and we weren't going to get a dog that would eventually be a big dog, Well as we all know God has his own plans, when we saw Charlie's picture from when he was a puppy and looking for a forever home we just knew he was intended to be a part of our family. Now three years later he is still a "puppy" and he's a 100 pounds. OH MY!

Now here we are five years into our marriage and we wanted a child, Peter and I prayed for a baby, and God granted us our wish! On July 27, 2012, I got the call that I had ALWAYS dreamed of, that call that would change our lives FOREVER. That I was pregnant!!!! I immediately called Peter at work, he answered and I said "Hi Daddy". As you can imagine he was ELATED to hear those words.

We had decided from the beginning that we were going to find out if we were going to have a little baby boy or girl. On October 16, we went to a Pregnancy Spa for the JUST CAN'T WAIT gender ultrasound... that's when we were told our lives would be filled with pinks, bows and lady bugs. Hence the title of this blog.